I Hath Been Burnt Too Many Times Buying the Dip...

Hi, I’m Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA, Esq. If you don’t know me already, I’m a Chartered FinMeme Analyst (CFA) with a particular expertise in #stonk valuation (pro-tip: just multiply by two). 

I’ve been told that I have a particularly special insight into the world of finance and memes, so I decided to set up this newsletter to share my thoughts on the latest news, memes, and everything in between!

Expect a newsletter at least twice a month, and follow me on Twitter for more updates and daily musings. For this week’s newsletter, I’m going to highlight my favorite memes of the week and offer my “diagnosis” on their virality.

This week’s meme lineup includes Elon’s challenge to Putin, the resurrection of Chinese stocks, another giant container ship getting stuck, and Pete Davidson becoming an astronaut.

Summary: A global economic and humanitarian crisis is looming after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine… But worry not! Elon is here to save the day. Earlier this week the Tesla founder challenged President Putin to “single combat” with the stakes being Ukraine, in an effort to end this crisis once and for all.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Despite Elon’s sentiment, he received widespread criticism on Twitter for arguably making a mockery out of what is a serious tragedy on the world stage. That said, Elon has done more than his fair share by sending Starlink terminals to Ukraine to aid the country’s communications, prompting heartfelt thanks from Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky. Whatever you think of Elon, it’s clear his heart is in the right place.

Summary: After a truly brutal several months, with China’s flagship stock $BABA down more than 70% from its highs, investors in Chinese ADRs finally caught somewhat of a break with companies like Alibaba, Tencent, and others up more than 30% on Wednesday. The bulk of the gains were triggered by a Chinese state media report signaling support for Chinese stocks. 

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: The significance of this news cannot be understated. Companies like $BABA have fallen dramatically from the highs due to fears of delistings after the Chinese government made Jack Ma “disappear” for a brief period. Warren Buffett’s partner, Charlie Munger, recently doubled his bet on $BABA in January, believing the current price offered significant upside. Whether he’s proven right… only time will tell. All I can say is I hath been burned too many times buying the dip.

Summary: A year after the Suez Canal fiasco, chaos has struck once more! Another container ship (also run by Evergreen Marine Corp.) has run around after departing a port in Baltimore. Lucky for Evergreen, this time it isn’t blocking any other ships in transit, and efforts have been underway to free the ship.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Something tells me that loading a 1,300 ft vessel with 18,000 containers and attempting to navigate it through narrow waterways is a recipe for disaster. Still, it’s remarkable that this has happened so few times. If I were in charge of global supply chains, I would simply transfer goods as NFTs on the blockchain instead.

Summary: Get the diss track ready, Kanye… Pete Davidson is going to space! The comedian and Saturday Night Live cast member will be among six passengers on the next launch of Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin. The flight is scheduled for March 23rd and Pete will be just the third celebrity to travel with Bezos’ space tourism company, following William Shatner and former NFL great Michael Strahan.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: After playing the jealous-ex for several weeks, including making a disturbing music video that involves killing and burying Pete Davidson, Kanye is about to play the SUPER jealous-ex when he learns that Pete is not only a world-famous comedian but also an astronaut. Clearly, Bezos is trying to add gas to the drama. But hey, maybe Kanye is stoked that his rival will be leaving this planet, far away from Kim K. 

Closing Thoughts:

• Never challenge a former-KGB and Judo champion to a fight

• Buying the dip on Chinese stocks is great until the dip keeps dipping…

• Instead of container ships, we should transport goods on the blockchain

• If you want to make your girlfriend’s ex jealous, simply become an astronaut

~ Dr. PP out