Dr. Parik's Meme Diagnosis: Elon Launches TITS University, and Love and Loss in the Metaverse

Hi, I’m Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA, Esq. If you don’t know me already, I’m a Chartered FinMeme Analyst (CFA) with a particular expertise in #stonk valuation (pro-tip: just multiply by two).

I’ve been told that I have a particularly special insight into the world of finance and memes, so I decided to set up this newsletter to share my thoughts on the latest news, memes, and everything in between!

Expect a newsletter at least twice a month, and follow me on Twitter for more updates and daily musings. For this week’s newsletter, I’m going to highlight my five favorite memes of the week and offer my “diagnosis” on their virality.

This week’s meme lineup includes some hot takes on Facebook’s rebrand, the meteoric rise (and then fall) of a Squid Game-inspired cryptocurrency, and Elon’s "plan" to launch TITS University.

Summary: Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you might have seen that Facebook is rebranding itself as Meta, as well as adopting a fresh infinity loop logo in a big bet on the metaverse. Zuck’s vision for the metaverse is a fully immersive internet where you’re actually inside the experience, not just looking at it through a screen.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: It’s always a big deal when a company changes its name, let alone the largest social network in the world. Zuck’s decision to rebrand as “Meta” reflects his confidence in this new frontier of technology. Or he’s just trying to distract us from a whole host of privacy and mental health issues associated with his platform. Either or… You judge.

Summary: You might have liked Netflix’s Squid Game, but you probably don’t like the cryptocurrency inspired by the show. In epic pump and dump fashion, the SQUID token soared to a high of $2,860 as investors piled into the TV-themed cryptocurrency before its founders cashed out their coins and it subsequently plummeted to near-zero.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Despite the irrefutable truth that #stonks only go up, apparently the same does not apply to cryptocurrencies. It’s the circle of life: All shitcoins eventually go to shit…

Summary: He may be building Giga Berlin, but Elon Musk is also a Giga Chad. In another illustration of his unique sense of humor, last week Elon tweeted out that he is thinking of starting the Texas Institute of Technology and Science. Seems innocent enough at first, right? After all, there’s nothing special about TITS University...

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Think back to your history class and all the famous business leaders you studied. Henry Ford, John D. Rockefeller… Elon is currently richer than they ever were. And it’s not because he makes cars or sends rockets into space. It’s because he posts memes on Twitter, of course.

Summary: The spookiest of spooky holidays went down this past weekend, when girls dress up in their favorite fairy outfit and guys — at least finance bros — decide to cosplay as Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Apparently, a lot of them.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: I mean, I get the appeal. Who doesn’t want to work 16 hours building merger models in Excel by day and then wield an axe and listen to Huey Lewis by night? It’s the perfect yin and yang scenario.

Summary: Some billionaires (like my son, Chamath) have incredible taste in art and the aesthetic. Others… less so. Over the past few days, Warren Buffett’s much poorer billionaire buddy Charlie Munger has come under some heat over his design plans for Munger Hall at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Charlie’s plans for the student dorms involve an 11-story building to provide nearly 4,500 windowless (yes, you read that right) bedrooms for undergrads.

Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: From alcohol-fueled late nights to loud music at 2AM on a Monday, students can be a pain to deal with. I fully support Charlie’s ambitions to build what is a prison in all but name to keep students locked up tight. No more flip cup or bathroom hotboxes, kids.

Key Takeaways / Diagnoses

• Rebranding one of the most profitable and controversial companies in the world won’t necessarily keep the skeletons in your closet hidden… And if you die in the metaverse, you die in real life!!!

• Elon’s TITS University might just be the next target school… but only if you double-D major in Twitter and memes.

• Wall Street bros really aspire to be Patrick Bateman and would probably embrace the cosplay even if it wasn’t Halloween.

• Charlie Munger’s plan to build a jail cell for UCSB undergrads is a totally fair trade-off for crushing student loan debt.

~ Dr. PP out